As Long as We both Shall Live

Dr Gary Smalley said in his book, As Long as We both Shall Live: Experiencing the Marriage You've Always Wanted.
 
You have the freedom and responsibility to change yourself, but you have neither the freedom nor the responsibility to change another person, not even your mate.  If you fail to grasp the principle and try to hold yourself responsible for changing your spouse, you will inevitably fail.  Your failure may lead to anger, despair, hopelessness or even guilt.  When you experience the urge to blame, remember King Solomon's wise words: "A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered" (Prov. 17.27).

Perhaps the worst thing about attempting to change your mate is that those attempts create an unsafe place for your marriage to thrive.  And in time, your mate will erect walls to ward off your continued push toward change.  Trying to change your mate can only make your marriage worse and increase its chance of failure.

Ultimately, you only have the freedom and responsibility to change yourself and how you react.

Thanks John H for sharing this with us.